About the Author
At the first cutting light of August, many years ago, the world got the first glimpse of the entity known henceforth as
Leon Yip. It decided to douse the aforesaid with sunshine, sweets, and loads of love.
Legend has it, so convicting were his words, that upon his request, the world agreed to revolve around him, forever, and ever, and ever.
Posted on: Monday, May 11, 2009
Posted at: 2:12 AM
I learnt the real meaning of a really powerful word today.
Solitude.Let me share something with the people who visit this abstract green salvo.
What I concluded, on my little venture, is that this word is made out of three different words.
Solo,
living, atti
tude.
Some people might say that solitude is bad, but that's just a reflection of their attitude when they are going solo.
On the contrary, others like me, whom I believe are the minority, have acquired a flair for some good solitude. (Now, don't judge me on my grammar, I'd interpret the word the way my C5 english would interpret it.)
I guess its only in the face of nothing at all that I can really find myself, cliche and lame as it may seem, but stripped of the rest of the world, all I have is me, and if I can't even find myself, then I've got nothing.
Standing a hundred metres above ground, looking at roads I'm so familiar with from the high ground, the nice cool night breeze carressing my cheeks, the stars and moon shining down, lighting the sky adoringly.
What I saw in my reflection wasn't pretty. Then again, I wasn't looking into a mirror, so I guess that made sense. I mean, my 'inner child'. The one which I so frequently whined that everyone was trying to 'kill'. I tried to communicate with that boy, and I realised that he is selfish, petty, grudg-ly, self-absorbed, and just pure frustrating to try to reach out to. I guess I don't blame everyone else for wanting to kill him.
I would too.
Oh, what a transcendent moment. A brief reprive from the many things haunting me, invading and pervading my 'chi'. And now, I guess I'm back at trying to break through the impasse.
But I know it'd be easier now.
I found myself, for however brief this moment of self-realisation is (for I can predict that tomorrow, I'd hold a completely different view from my current philosophy), I can be assured for ever, that I do exist, wholly and truly, and if I search hard enough, I know I'd find myself again,
and this search, with the rewards of fulfillment that I now know it brings, has determined my solo living attitude.
but I still can't go to rest, not just yet.
