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About the Author
At the first cutting light of August, many years ago, the world got the first glimpse of the entity known henceforth as Leon Yip. It decided to douse the aforesaid with sunshine, sweets, and loads of love.
Legend has it, so convicting were his words, that upon his request, the world agreed to revolve around him, forever, and ever, and ever.
Posted on: Monday, March 30, 2009 Posted at: 10:29 PM
You know, I just want life to be a whole big party where we could all just dance the time away, basking in the glory of each other and not having a single care in the world but to enjoy the moment. Of course, you don't know. At least, not anymore.
Leon, you really know how to make things from bad to worse. And now, you don't know what to say or what to do about it! Oh my, hoorah for bad decisions and perfectly horrendous timing!
I tried, I really did. I'm sorry, I really am.
Just don't let anyone know.
Posted on: Sunday, March 29, 2009 Posted at: 9:02 PM
As if school life and my own personal isn't messed up enough now.
Oh, isn't this all just a breeze..
not what you seemed to be
Posted on: Saturday, March 28, 2009 Posted at: 1:13 AM
Life shouldn't have to be like this.
I should be wearing a big smile on my face, a glint in my eye.
But all I'm left now, a hole in my head, a strain on my mind.
I want the world to stop now, reverse, back to a time where I know that nothing mattered. Back to a time when I was really happy. From there, I'd make myself see that "happiness" ironically leads inevitably to unhappiness.
And I never seem to learn, that everything works two ways.
And I never want to be the one way traffic.
And I never will see again, the light of the days which has so clearly been extinguished and replace by an obscure blanketing darkness.
Step into the abyss.
Join in the great party of life, being alone in the crowd, glistening lights, giddy music, clanking of glasses, the intimate distance from everyone but myself.
So be it.
Posted on: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 Posted at: 9:41 PM
i really don't see how i'm the bad guy.
maybe, i just am.
no reason, just one of those things that you can't fight against, and trying harder and harder will make this hole deeper and deeper.
As of now, I already can't see myself getting out of this.
Is there even a pit to begin with.
I need a bazooka to the brain.
Damnt.
Posted on: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Posted at: 9:10 PM
what the fuck am i supposed to do now.
Posted on: Sunday, March 22, 2009 Posted at: 11:25 PM
Oh my gosh.
Ah shit lah. Everything that I try to try is failing. Everything good that comes in my way wilts away from my touch.
And everything I do to make things better just makes things worst.
This is shit.
I think I'll just stop trying, be satisfied with this convoluted status and not try to resolve anything.
Ah, fuck life.
My life.
Posted on: Posted at: 12:17 AM
Watched "He's Just Not That Into You" with Kenrick and Lennart on friday. It is, an awesome show. Really made me think. Found the book at Page1 in Vivo just now, and I really would have gotten it if it wasn't for my lack of money. Its a guidebook. A furikin' guidebook.
So my brother and I didn't manage to catch the dance concert yesterday, and we ended up having a nice one-on-one dinner at the nearby cafe before coming back to the UCC (University Cultural Centre) where I bought that delectable Apple Ice-cream on a whim. That's $8.90 for an apple-sized ice-cream well spent, thank you, though my brother would vehemently disagree, I'm quite sure of that. And so, that was how I spent my friday evening.
Wanna know how I spent my saturday afternoon?
I'm gonna spell it out here anyway, so meh.
I left my place at 4pm, wandered around Vivo for a bit before adjourning to the UCC for our second shot at those coveted elusive tickets. Reached the UCC at 5.30pm, and already the queue had reached a point of uncertainty regarding the availability of the tickets. So, we waited, waited, and waited. Till 7, when we FINALLY had confirmation of our tickets.
It was an awesome show, on so many levels.
Okay, I'm exhausted now. MafiaWars is weirdly addictive, and Man Utd is losing to Fulham. Hope the score holds out.
I try to read what isn't written.
Eeek, eek, a mouse, Ahh!
Posted on: Saturday, March 21, 2009 Posted at: 11:57 AM
There's a stupid draft in my posts that I'm too lazy/tired/apprehensive to actually finsih up, so I'll just leave it there.
Gah, just went for a run from home to queensway back home, really sad timing.
Oh well.
And yes, I realise what an idiot I am haha.
I'm not hurting anyone, not even myself, so I guess that's fine.
Righto.
Had you given me the chance to say "I do".
Posted on: Thursday, March 19, 2009 Posted at: 9:42 PM
Hello kiddos and kiddettes,
this week's word is - aversion.
A turning away or preventing.
What a camp, probably the defining moment of our term, staying till 4.30 am, with the load of much more than we can think of lying on our shoulders.
Only time can tell.
On many levels, many not-so-desirable things have been averted, and while I still am clueless and thoughts still as unfocused, I guess I have bought myself time, to think and consider, what is it this time, that has caused such a weird tangled up episode in my mind.
the more I try to make amends, the deeper I fall into this.
Posted on: Sunday, March 15, 2009 Posted at: 11:32 PM
So, something an old buddy said hit a nerve within me.
Why did I choose to come to Victoria Junior College.
I mean, its not like I'm regretting it or anything, hell no, I still think its the best choice I've made in my life, like duhh.
But why?
So I dig back into previous blog posts, back to a time where nothing mattered and ignorant innocence reigned. The "good ol' days". Secondary school.
So what was it.
Some impalpable fairytale I was trying to grasp onto, in the midst of its vaporising mist.
Well, of course, I had been aspiring to go somewhere new and different just to be well, exposed to what life has to offer.
But, the immediate trigger of which.
I guess its amazing how one person can so subtly yet so significantly determine the direction of your life.
And I believe, a show of gratitude is due, despite the fact that it will most probably never be seen.
So, thank you.
You, who made the first impressions on what it's like to touch the sky. And if I saw you on the streets, time will reverse and I'd be wearing that same uniform and tripping over myself all over again.
Posted on: Posted at: 8:22 PM
No more privleged excursions with glimpses into the human heart. Or something like that.
If there's one thing that literature has taught me, its that everything we do has its effect on everything that happens hereafter.
Oh, can't you feel the weight of your own world upon your shoulders now, anchoring you down to a murky seabed of repurcussions.
Go us!
We are the survivors of this struggle.
Posted on: Thursday, March 12, 2009 Posted at: 12:33 AM
Today was an exceptionally great day. Math and Literature. I came out of the examination venues with a sense of satisfaction I guess, well, more of a sense of resignation for the lost-cause of maths, but I've an outside chance of getting an "S"? Haha, which of course, is something I should not be proud of.
Outside chance.
Lit was, well, better than I thought it would have been on first sight I guess. Its really the examination venue that keeps your mind churning out stuff. I hope I do alright.
After that, had a reeeeeally long long overdued class outing! And of course, to celebrate Adilah's birthday!
Wow, we're really spontaneous and creative! I totally love us.
Completely camwhored while attempting to check out movie prices, and ended up bowling. My score was tosh really, but the curl-ing was fun! Oh gosh, it reminds me of that sport that Mr. Young was talking about LOL! Curling. Uhm, a very quaint recreation I suppose...
Proceeding that, had a nice talk with the remaining few! Enlightening and inspiring as usual.
Really makes me feel that I need to grow up. One year, and I'm back where I was. I suppose that's alright, no gain, but no loss. I can't be stuck in my own little sphere of comfort for ever, I guess its time to conform and do as I am expected, without trying to be special or different all the time. Maybe, it is really time to grow up, tone down, and just, be somebody.
Oh, isn't it ironic, being somebody means you have to suppress who you really are.
Well, I'm almost finally finaly, out of words. Almost, but when I still have that little bit left in me..
Posted on: Monday, March 09, 2009 Posted at: 12:00 AM
Some people just like to FUCKING rub it in I guess.
Maybe its just me, but I'm getting more and more easily irked.
Posted on: Sunday, March 08, 2009 Posted at: 11:52 AM
Truth is, I never changed one bit.
So I received back the letter Mr. Young made us write to ourselves at this junction of last year. I could distinctly pick out my own (some say "unique") style of writing, and perhaps, if I were to write a letter to myself dated to be sent out exactly one year later, most of the base questions would be similar. It was a really reflective experience. I realise that in one year, my life went a complete round, and now, turned out exactly the same as it was when I wrote the letter.
One full circle, with its ups and downs, lefts and rights. 365 days, 360 degrees.
Yesterday was a total renewal of love I had for the class. Oh gosh, totally love you guys to the MAX!! With floorball (arena style), random dancing, and totally absurd plans to scare other occupants of the school (Gillian, I will never forget that plan you had. In fact, if I could only hang on to one memory of you in school, it would be that one! :D). Of course, it helped greatly that it was a highly productive studying session, or so I think.
I'm starting to remember why I loved life so much, and at the same time, realising that I still love life. I still love myself a lot, and in fulfilling that, I'm gonna spread that love, flowing like a fountain (think Malfi), to all my friends out there!
I'm lovin' it.
'Support' MusicFest LOL!
Posted on: Friday, March 06, 2009 Posted at: 5:37 PM
So, a series of events led to a whole new perspective of life for me. I'm going to treasure every single moment of my life, and cherish every single friendship which I have. I love all you guys, would be at a total loss without each and every one of you guys.
Its shocking, how fragile life is, and how one could even think of permanently break these fragile links with loved ones.
Sighh.
I guess there's just so much more in this world than I thought there was.
I'm going to embrace each day as a challenge, and most importantly, live without regrets.
For that though, I guess theres still things I need to do.
If only I could even start up the engines for this course.
Hello.
Posted on: Wednesday, March 04, 2009 Posted at: 10:15 PM
And I guess that's why sometimes, I lapse into a state of desolation. The sudden smack in the head, and the stinging build up in my eyes. That's when I start forcing a smile, pretending that everything's alright. Sometimes, the smile stays, and everything is really alright. Until the next time that I actually feel that rousing unrest within, bursting to reveal itself, hitting hard against the walls against my mind, creating cracks in the chambers of my deepest thoughts, and I confuse what I feel is real, and what I feel I felt.
For now, I'll just cut a smile on my face, and let time fixate it. Hopefully.
Posted on: Monday, March 02, 2009 Posted at: 12:07 AM
I love walking back home at night, especially past that strip of brilliant night sky, perforated with stars strewn across the boundless mystery of darkness, wondering what its like to be one of them stars, looking down at us, whether or not they are twinkling cheekily because they have played with our fate, or if they are faltering because they too, are blinded by their own lights.
Maybe the Earth is a star to the stars themselves.
