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At the first cutting light of August, many years ago, the world got the first glimpse of the entity known henceforth as Leon Yip. It decided to douse the aforesaid with sunshine, sweets, and loads of love. Legend has it, so convicting were his words, that upon his request, the world agreed to revolve around him, forever, and ever, and ever.

The doubters were right.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I didn't know what I was doing in June, and I sure as hell do not know what I'm doing now.

Why do I only truly feel when the feeling's long gone.

Every single damn instance.

Bad timing, good timing, wrong timing, right timing.

Once too many.

I'll retreat in my shell now.

Gah, but I know that some that soon and sure enough, a deathtrap will walk by again and take a shot at my heart with a killer smile. I guess its just that predictable, but yet I can't ever prepare for it.

And I'd be dead and gone before they even know it.


There, I let it out, can you please stop haunting me now?
I had another dream last night, I dreamt that she said everything I wanted to hear last time, but as soon as I saw myself driving an F1 car, I knew it was an illusion.

When I woke up, the world was a much better place.


I wouldn't change what I have now for anything.

Well..

Maybe for a few things perhaps?

:P


Maths. Gah.
"It is about a stripper, actually. This girl that I know, uhm, told me that she'd become a stripper, and I thought that was hilarious. And awesome."

Gotta love Alex Gaskarth.



A song I don't wanna sing when I'm older.
So, once again passed another festive season of which the eve of Christmas was by far more enjoyable than Christmas day itself.

Woke up on Christmas eve feeling slightly unwell, but still able to go about doing regular daily stuff, though I did nothing memorable in the morning or afternoon.

Christmas eve dinner though, was a feast to behold. There was turkey, ham, pork knuckles, spaghetti, bread and mash potatoes. Food galore. And though I was fighting that slightly sickly feeling that fell over me in the morning, I still had my fair share of the meal. The food was just made tastier by the company present. We carried the dining table from the kitchen to the hall to accommodate more seating space, which was pretty cool for the first time we ever had such an arrangement. The whole familiy was present, including my grandma, and at that moment, all slight illness was cured as I basked in the warmth of a nice Christmas eve dinner.

After that, we watched friends as a family, my dad frantically translating everything that was said to cantonese so my grandma could pretend that she was enjoying the show. When my eldest brother came back from sending grandma home, I watched this utterly insane funny South Park episode, but it hurt abit when I laughed, so I had to retrain that tickle affecting me.

My condition worsened a little, so I popped a couple of panadols, and went to bed immediately after that. At around 9.30 at night.

That night, I had the most retarded dream ever, about some ballistic contraption which recurred over and over again. I was self-awoken around every hour, either to get a warm drink, expel some stuff, vomit, or to force down a couple of pills before heading back to my bizzare and irritatingly frustrating nightmare. It was a fitful sleep, and perhaps the worst slumber I had ever been through.

The next day, I couldn't bring myself to fully get out of bed till around noon, and when I did, I was awake for barely 2 hours, of which I spent on a nice cool bath, drinking honey water, and using a hot cold pad to bring any temperature down. I didn't really bother using a thermometer to check my temperature as it didn't feel extraordinarily awful, so when my mom forced the thermometer down my throat awhile after I woke from my nap, I was shocked to see that the temperature was 40.5 degrees celsius.

After abit of sitting around and considering what course of action to take, my mom and I ended up watching the Simpsons on TV. When my dad came back from the stall, he kicked up a big fuss (as usual), his way of showing his concern, and soon enough, I was on my way to the Singapore General Hospital A&E department. My mom and I were dropped off first, so we had to put on masks and wait in the sick zone. My dad, having parked the car, could not enter the sick zone and thus had to wait outside the vicinity. Poor him. :(

After about 45 minutes of waiting, I was finally consulted by the doctor, and he warned that treatment could take quite a while, so my mom persuaded my dad to go home first and prepare for the next day's work.

I was put on a drip thingo, a needle through my hand connected to this bottle of liquid steadily dripping some miracle cure into my body, and I had a painkiller injection on my buttcheek that is still kinda sore -.-

So after an hour or so on the drip while lying on a hospital bed, which kinda made me feel like a geriatric patient, my temperature zoomed down to a mere 37.9 degree celsius, and I was sent home with a few bouts of medicine.

Amazingly, my mom had stayed on with me the whole time, despite my pleas that she went home first and savoured whatever time there was left for christmas, and I'd contact her when I was ready to leave. Awwwww.. words cannot explain the gratitude I have for her. When I reached home around 10.30pm, my dad (usually a sleeper by 9pm) was still up worrying about me while doing his preparations. It was quite cute when I was eating dinner, and my dad was animatedly retelling the two episodes of friends which my mom and I missed.

I love my family.


Haha. So now I'm feeling way better, though I missed training again :( Oh well, its the last training I'd miss. I'm quite sure of that.

I guess its a good time to restart on my maths now that I'm still feeling rather up and alive!

Merry Christmas every-buddy!



A couple of nights ago I dreamt, this time, she asked for my name.
For you see, the thing that stings me the most, is this ominous inevitable feeling that I was being used, and with a pride as big as mine, allowing someone/something to manipulate my thoughts/feelings/actions as such, is a defeat that I find extremely hard to swallow. But its okay. Being as magnanimous and as great a person as I am, life goes on, and time clears all obstacles for everybody.

Now, I think the greatest quote in the world, is to "forgive, but not forget."


Now that its screwed over, just keep the ball rollin'. Bad things happen to good people, especially to angels.
The past hours since I last woke up from slumber has been, to say the least, reflective. There's a fine line between being in a thoughtful serene mood and being plain bored, and though sometimes I do step across that line, I feel that the day still preserved most of the contemplative airs that a lazy windy saturday afternoon deserves.

Christmas is around the corner, and I guess that is what is causing this flow of thoughts rushing through my mind. As I pace through the wide aisles of the garguantan Vivo City, this question has popped up in my head numerous time. Have I been naughty or nice this year?

I suppose that is one question which I am not inclined to answer definitely with my own judgement, but I am still allowed to give my own myopic opinions on this.

A lot of things have changed over the course of twelve short months, I know I sure have. I guess introduction into life in Junior College has had an effect equalling that of an armaegaddon in my life. The upheaval of a system which I had been so used to.

My elitist upbringing was now exposed to a lifestyle which I thought was light years away from my orbit. It showed me new lifestyles, new insights, new perspectives, new meanings. On the whole, these revelations offering me privileged glimpses into the human soul have indeed filled the gaping holes in my quest for ansers, and my brain has absorbed these lessons like sponge.

I have change. Not on my own accord, by no means. Old friends mould me with their timeless quirks, new people enter my life and swept it upside down, leaving behind a their mark.

I shall cut short this rant due to my dying laptop battery.

All in all, as the year approaches a close, I know that as time goes by, the shape of my human nature will be transformed accordingly, and when I do my year-end reflections next year, I will be a completely different person, not even able to recognise that this passage of writing was previously envision from a very same brain, with a very different mind.



As I sing my song which is without chorus,
as I walk the road which is without path,
the song will sing, and the path will show,
until the last bells toll, one last time,
for the forgotten tsar.
Argh. Life is unfair. I want a good progress award to. That's seriously some insane bullshit system. Gah, forget it. I transcend over humanly desires.


Anyway, I just dug out the list of things that I wanted to do before I died, or my Bucket List, that Mr. Young asked us to write out last time, and I'm hoping to set up some kinda trend here.

Since 100 is too many, write up a list of 30 things which you want to do before you die, regardless on how insane, how plausible, how mundane, or how normal it may seem, as long as you feel right now, that is what you want to do, put it down!


1. Visit Anfield
2. Relase a "Redeeming the Riot" EP
3. Wear a Liverpool jersey into a Man Utd bar during a Liverpool v.s Man U match
4. Earn more than my spouse
5. Influence my brother to name their kids according to my suggestion
6. Laugh in the face of angry drunk Everton fans after Liverpool wins the derby
7. Go to a nude beach
8. Dye my hair an insane colour
9. Inspire a food chain called "Over There"
10. Earn a 5 digit sum monthly by the time I'm 30
11. Build a structure with my bare hands
12. Be a lawyer of sorts
13. Grow taller than my brothers
14. Have a snowball fight
15. Slap Wong Tze Yung
16. Hang-glide
17. Dress up and be mistaken for a celebrity
18. Spend a day in tourist-like clothing, and see how many people actually know about Singapore landmarks
19. Escape to one of the cool exotic carribean islands!
20. Own a car by 25
21. Get a Porsche Boxter
22. Get a Harley Davidson motorcycle!
23. Be able to hold a birthday bash at 30 and invite 200 people
24. Listen to Jason Mraz live in a close intimate setting, and just feel the moment
25. Lie on the beach for a whole night awake, and count stars.
26. Close down a shop that purely sells skinny jeans
27. Accuse a random girl of witch-craft, and suggest burning at the stake!
28. Learn how to appreciate ballet
29. Crash a void deck Malay wedding, pretending to be a long lost friend of the bride!
30. Restore Mr. Young's faith in technology!


Yepp, I know this chain wouldn't take off at all, but it was fun anyways!

Garrr, gotta find my maths notes now.. Brrr..
Wow, today was quite an awesome day!

I woke up at 1pm, and I cooked the most awesome lunch, EVER! The meal probably shaved off a few years from my lifespan, but I felt that it was worth it! Oooh, delicious. *smacks lips*

This is what I had..

3 beef burger patties, pan-cooked to perfection, with a slice of cheese slabbed on them, stacked up and placed between two thin pieces of the finest gardenia bread.

And as a side dish..

2 sausages (with cheese pre-filled inside), pan-cooked and smokin' hot, wrapped with the finest quality cheese slice.

That meal was immensely brilliant. It lasted me through even dinner, well, somewhat through dinner anyway.

So after that, I realised that I was late (as usual) for the class movie! Lateness has somewhat been a bad habit of mine over the past couple of years, and I seriously have to find ways to curb it. This time though, I wasn't the latest, and as a result, we had to push back our plans and watch a later movie, which meant (unfortunately), that I was unable to catch "Bolt" with some of the councillors.

"Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" was pretty sweet too! And the company was great! No regrets actually. It was just one of those movies that made you think about how everyday people had their own unique story to tell I guess. Cute movie, really indie, just like "Juno" I guess, just that "Juno's" soundtrack was by far more gripping in my honest humble opinion.

After that, I followed the class for abit, settled at Cafe Cartel, and then flitted between the councillors and the class. Gosh, reminiscence of my birthday. Was quite fun though, although I must admit, that my classmates are pretty damn retarded! (Yeah, spread the luuurrrr-oooaaafff!)

Stupid free Cafe Cartel bread.

Following which, the class left first, and I lingered with the councillors to be a deliquent and sit in the middle of the stupid atrium, and play an insanely retarded, but really fun game, of which I do not know the name of. Gah.

Came back home, and here I am! The iced tea I made rendering me unable to sleep, so I blog on the internet and wrote in my diary, ah, I'm just like a princess!





Now, look through the past 17 years of your life. Pin-point the one moment in the time of your conscious living that you would change if you could. Although you can't possibly change what you did, you can promise yourself never to make the same mistake. Ever again.



My moment, comes somewhere in the middle of secondary 4. Funny thing is, even if I did manage to change things, I think I'd still end up in the school I'm in. Life has its way to make sure I go down the path I'm supposed to follow. That's fate isn't it? Well, thats an IFFY conclusion.
Ode (Note) to self -

You see, Leon, with the bare facts laid out right in front of you, you can always be sure of what you believe. Seeing may be believing, but I guess you were blind to the times (more than once, in fact) where you unknowingly proved yourself worthy of such a cause. I don't really see what's holding you back, when your engine is so obviously at full throttle, ready to propel forward. Its time to release the brakes, "turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground", follow the music.

-Cheers
Leon Yip


This is why I restarted having journal entries, writing letters to myself. It's therapeutic. :)
Well, the past few days have been busy busy busy for me! This holiday is probably the one that I've been most busy in, what with all the trainings, council stuff and trying to study for my R-papers and all. Of course, I haven't counted the going out stuff, so yeah, I've really been pretty swamped.

Yeah, so what's been going down in the past three days eh? Alright, I need my memory to be refreshed a lil' first. Since I can't remember the chronological order, I'm just gonna list 10 random things that I did in the past few days!

1. Floorball training on thursday, I think I exerted slightly too much pressure on my injury, so I've resolved not to go for training for the whole of next week.

2. After a hilarious conversation with the Chinese Food Stall aunty on the phone, went to meet her at frikkin' Aljunied to collect the cash for SDD. She kept laughing at my disjointed chinese speaking, and interrogated me on why I never patronised her stall. Sheesh.

3. Went window shopping, and tried on alot of clothes for fun! All by myself, gosh, window shopping is seriously therapeutic, and so inspiring, but also very very cruel. Its like, I don't have the cash to buy the stuff I covet so badly.

4. Made my Christmas shopping list, though I must say, that it's pretty damn hard to, with such a limited budget, and with the list of people ever-growing. Up till now, I'm still trying to configure the list and stuff.

5. Window shopping for Christmas presents by myself, and that was awesome fun, I've got ideas here and there, but I'm looking for alternatives and stuff haha.

6. Cycling with Zheng Jun, Hannah and Wan Swen, well, it's not our fault that the girls wanted skate, so it was a nice leisurely ride in the park, marred by a complete old hag being all "singaporean-ish" and rushy. We had fun though didn't we?

7. Nat Geo Challenge, I realised that my high score was 15000+, not the 12000+ that I've been telling people! I guess I'm better than I thought! Yeah!

8. Finally went to the library with my TSD group to browse through plays (they are massively boring to read unless you find the right one), and returned my library books! My fine wasn't as big as I thought it'd have been, thankfully.

9. Went to Swee Lee to check out keyboard stands! And sustain pedals. Gah, I can't have my beautiful KORG sitting covered on my piano whenever I'm not using it...

10. Band Concert with A12! I feel massively guilty for blowing FECO off, but I guess I just felt so bad that I was missing out on class stuff so much, it was buckets of fun though! Really made a racket with Aloysius and Jeremy, awesome.


Yepp, brother scolding and rushing me out now, haha, AH!!!

He's leaving without me, shoots.

Okay cheers.
I've forgotten how to start it over. It used to be so easy, the feeling coming around and passing by, now I don't even see its traces anymore. It didn't use to be so difficult to start of something new.

Now, I don't know whats in store for me, if there's anything left at all. Gah. I live in a fantasy world, one filled with white horses and shiny castles, and this great dream of the past seventeen years is starting to evaporate, and I'm beginning to see the cold stone paths laid ahead of me, leading in circles, going no where, until I finally stop caring about where I end up.

I'll try to live life as I know it while I can, never wanting anything more, never accepting anything less.


Live the dream yo!
I guess I am indeed really a stupid boy, but as the way life goes, I guess I'm just filled to the brim with my pure dumb luck! This time of course, with the great help of my dad! Haha! One moment I'm arguing with him, the next, he's my favourite person in the world. Oh gosh, I just sound like a lil' kiddo. Maybe its just because I don't ever wanna grow up. Because I'm afraid of responsibility, because I'm afraid of problems, because I'm afraid of feelings, because I'm afraid of sadness. I just wanna be Peter Pan, and stay at in this moment forever, where nothing matters for me, but myself, and all that counts is how much I enjoy life.

I guess I've really been lucky in my lifetime, so many times I should've gotten punished for my foolishly childish acts, but somehow, every problem kinda just untangled itself, and the right paths had been laid in front of me all the time.

Yeahh, life is great! :)

One life, live it, don't give it away for anybody or anything!
Chasing shadows in my head,
(go on go on, go on go on.)
I keep tellin' them, tellin' them,
that I don't want to
But their pushin' me, pushin' me,
saying that I need to,

Look for the blinding lights again.
(come on come on, come on come on)
Now that we're runnin' and runnin',
from the teeth that are grindin',
I'll find a place to hide us,
from the ones who said they'd catch us.



I think its finally done!


Argh, I feel like the stupidest person alive.. How could I be so so so damn carelesss...
I am very bored here at home, so as I was blog surfing, even a quiz from Steph's blog was enough to get me all excited! I haven't done these kind of random quizes in like, forever! Yay!

-Put your iTunes on shuffle.
-For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
-Write down the song name, no matter how silly it sounds.
-Put down any comments in brackets after the song name.

1. If someone says "Is this okay?", you say?
"We've Only Just Begun" - Run Kid Run
(I'd presumably be shopping when this happens)

2. How would you describe yourself?
"Fly Me To The Moon" - Frank Sinatra
(I guess I'm a flighty person? Like Jordan Baker! Or Daisy Buchanan!)

3. What do you like in a girl/guy?
"Photograph" - Nickleback
(Oh dear, am I that superficial? I think so! Haha!)

4. How do you feel today?
"Patience" - Guns n' Roses
(More like, bored, but I guess it makes sense)

5. What is your life's purpose?
"Stalker" - Goldfinger
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh geez)

6. What is your motto?
"Make You Feel Better" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
(Yeah, I guess all I want to do is to cheer people up!)

7. What do your friends think of you?
"The Last Resort" - The Eagles
(Really? Oh man, I'm so sad now... )

8. What do you think of your parents?
"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
(Awww... more like "They" will be loved!)

9. What do you think about very often?
"Thank You For Lovin' Me" - Bon Jovi
(Oh goodness, this quiz is way off track now!)

10. What is 2 + 2?
"Coyotes" - Jason Mraz
(Are you furikin' kidding me?)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
"Cute Without the E" - Taking Back Sunday
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh myyy...)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
"Sugar We're Going Down" - Fallout Boy
(Weird)

13. What is your life story?
"Hotel California" - The Eagles
(Yeah, loads of booze and partying!)

14. What do you wanna be when you grow up?
"High" - Lighthouse Family
(Wow, spot on!)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"Wet Sand" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
(No comments)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Time is Running Out" - Muse
(HAHAHA!! Oh gosh, if I got married, that means time ran out already!)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
"Bada Bing! Wit' a Pipe" - Four Year Strong
(Awesomeee!!!)

18. What is your hobby/interest?
"Hey" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
(Wow, that's insightful indeed)

19. What is your biggest fear?
"Tequila Sunrise" - The Eagles
(I've got too many Eagles songs)

20. What is your biggest secret?
"The Call" - Backstreet Boys
(Wakakaka! Oooh, this is interesting!!!)

21. What do you think of your friends?
"Come One, Come All" - All Time Low
(Yeah, bring you suckers on! :D)

22. What will you post this as?
"Thats Why (You Go Away)" - Michael Learns to Rock
(Right)


Wow. That was kinda fun. HAHA. I like the secret one, and the whats my purpose one and the best friend one haha! Its so funny, judging by the song title itself!



Okay, gonna start my TV watching routine for the night now!

I finally made some sense of what "Remembering Sunday" means.


The neighbours say she moved away,
funny how it rained all day,
I didn't think much of it then
but its starting to all make sense.
Oh, I can see now,
that all of
these clouds are
following me in my
desperate endeavour
to find my whoever,
whoever she may be.


Its a really beautiful song.
The greatest tragedy isn't losing something, because if you've lost something, it means that at the least, you had that something before and you can hang on to the memories of it. The greatest tragedy is not daring to reach for what you truly want, letting what you want fly by you while you stand there just staring at it. Now that, can bring about true regret. So now, everybody, just reach out for the stars, and touch the beautiful blue sky.


Damn, my body clock is frikkin' messed up haha. SDD and the chalet really just killed me. The council chalet was fun!! :D surprise surprise. I thought that it'd be boring cause of the endless list of chinese songs lined up, well, I was right, it was boring for a couple of hours, but the jump in the pool (quite literally) and the pictionary / mahjong, random talking and just the whole company more than made up for the 2 wasted hours which was the drone of countless chinese songs (though I must admit, some of them where nice I guess).

Haha.

Got some inspiration, gonna work on new ideas now!

-Cheers
Today has been a great learning adventure for me.

I've learnt something today. Not so much a revelation as a confirmation.

I also realised that a person's one in six billion chance does not usually come at seventeen.

I am now convinced though, that lightning can actually strike the same spot twice.

The future holds so many possibilities, but I live for what today gives me.



Oh oh, and lastly, Sarah Yip chases people out of MSN conversation with her blindingly luminous pink coloured font!!



Cheers!!
I never told a lie,
and that makes me a liar.
I never made a bet,
but we gamble with desire,
I never lit a match
with intent to start a fire,
but recently,
the flames are getting out of control.



before i fade away as a bad memory, just wanna say, thanks.
SDD is over. Still caught up in the dust of the moment, the accomplishment, the celebration. Or at least, of my own celebration. It was fine I guess. Could've been catastrophically worse. But I guess we handled it well. Yeahh.

Through the course of the night, my need to lose myself took over, and I guess, thats what I did. Though I was pretty disappointed at a couple of things that I thought would have had materialised. Oh well.

Even after accomplishing such a feat, I don't feel all that bubbly inside now. Things I should have done, things that I could have done, things I thought I wanted to do. I kept it all in. I don't think I can get on like this much longer. Something inside me feels like its going to collapse. But I guess I'm hanging on by my heartstrings now.


I start feeling most alone when I'm in a crowd,
I start feel saddest amidst the laughter,
I start feel most resigned when I review my options,
I start feel bad when everything else is good.

I start feeling only when the feeling's gone.

Oh, a little paradox.

Aloysius Ho Austin Collin Conrad E-jin Gabriel Hannah Hong Yi Jana Jia Hui Kai Kyra Nathan Nick Paul Raymond Samuel Tan Sing Chuen Siyi Steph Victoria Yuai Yvelyn Class 4.4 Class 08A12
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10. I blog, because I can. I go for supper on weekdays...

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