Layout Title: Goodbye Summer
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At the first cutting light of August, many years ago, the world got the first glimpse of the entity known henceforth as Leon Yip. It decided to douse the aforesaid with sunshine, sweets, and loads of love. Legend has it, so convicting were his words, that upon his request, the world agreed to revolve around him, forever, and ever, and ever.

Contrary to prior belief ... (Go figure)


Oh well, I'm making myself a "do" and "do not do" list. Right now, my actions are pretty limited.

But, but.. but... (isn't this just sooo Mr. Young-ish?)

I'm in control now, so yeah. I can pretty much do whatever I want and get away with it with myself.
Its pretty awesome. Magical even, how a song with the simplest progression, a smooth even tempo accentuated by the steady pulsating of the bass rhythm, a sort of sweet melancholy derived from the melody, the haunting tones of the guitar giving a peaceful serene overview of the song. Coupled with the simplest of words, holding the deepest meanings, painting the a most stunning picture of black and white where the two shades merge and the product is mostly grey.

Its this simplicity which I was put on this Earth to enjoy and savour. With the simplest of melodies, the most common of words, the unending chapters of my mind seem to just flow out in the deathless prose.

Its this greatest gift which God above bestowed upon us mere humans, which allows me to put into a creative charge, all the emotions and thoughts which I feel, encapsulated by a stunning package of a timeless song, delivered in a scintilating fashion that just makes tears flow down my cheeks.

Its both my disease and my cure, it just leaves me begging for more each time I allow the music seep into my soul and take over me, rendering at the mercy of such lovely words and emotions.

Yeah, we'd shine like stars in the summer night
-U2, With or Without You

Irish people really have an impact on my life it seems. Yeah, you too (pun intended, haha). :)
Time is a powerful thing. If you use it well, just taking a little time off your busy routine can do wonders. I'll testify to that.

I love my friends. They are AWESOMEE! Flying down the streets in the dead of the night, the wind agreeing with your every thought and giving a bellow of agreement... Really gives you the space to be alone with yourself even in the company of those closest to you. Night cycling is addictive.

Going down the lighted streets, able to see where you are going, the street signs pointing in every direction, and you knowing exactly where to steer yourself toward. Even when you go down the wrong road, you know you can count on your friends to call you back.

Sheer adrenaline pumping down veins, acting on impulse rather than rational, making decisions with only heart, going in a full circle ending where it started. Thats the path taken. Long winding, perilious, illegal, but it'd take me home.

I've learnt something else today. Sometimes, the best choice isn't the right choice. We can't always have the best in life. I mean, we can choose to if we really want, but... when we have the best, there is nothing left to be desired. Don't get me wrong, it feels good at the top, but you won't get the same satisfaction of climbing greater heights. Truly, no matter how cliche it sounds, less is more.

Something to yearn for, something to dream about, something to work towards, something to thirst after, something to covet, something to feel passionate about.

Something to desire.



I can't stop my own thoughts of the inevitable. No matter how much it sickens me, I know it cannot be helped. But I must say, it drives me on. To strive beyond perfect, to ridicule the impossible, to grant miracles, to soar through the sky. It'd take time, to eradicate this unnecessary cloud of dust, but I will remember that though the rain brings about cold and strife, it also brings out rainbows.Au revoir.
As everything comes into light, I step into darkness. You see, too much clarity can sometimes be blinding, and right now, a blurity of darkness is all I see.

The future's too far away to be here.



Now make a change, I'm counting down, the mile marks to every town and falling more in love with the distance put between us.
We can't hide, we let go. We've got more than we know. My friends are a different breed, my friends are everything.

What really matters is what comes next.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke,
your love life's D.O.A.
Its like you're always stuck in second gear,
and it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year.
But.
I'd be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'd be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'd be there for you, 'cause you're there for me too.


Yes, this fully sums up everything. :)




This time, I'm closed till further notice.
Today, is the start of a great literary adventure.


cigars in the summer time under the sky by the light.
I am one screwed up boy. How did I fall so deeply, now I can't climb out.

Don't feel bad, I waged war on myself.


Fall in the grave I've been digging myself.
But there's room for two.

six feet under the stars.
For my 330th post, I shall include the poem which I suddenly composed at 1.43am just now.



Excuses
Empty street, wind rustles.
Footsteps quicken, as grey forms
out of the blue.
Sky breaks,
withstanding the accumulating weight of
cloud nine no more.

No more footprints,
washed away, replaced, by
puddles shimmering cold, reflecting the trembling sky.

If they ask later, I'll say,
"Its' the rain."



Yeahh. A rough sketch, but I'm happy with what I created.

Can anyone decipher this? HAHA. Sam! Tell me what you think!
I walked down orchard road. didn't think i was looking for anything, and i didn't find anything. halfway though, i did realise that i was wasting my time. if i wanted to get things done, i have to start where i came from.

but i really don't know how.


my fucking mp3/phone made me embarrass myself today.
Haha. I'm very happy with the extravagant grey coloured book i just acquired yesterday. Just back from a talk at school and now i'm slacking till like, 2+ where i'd drag my happy (not sorry) ass to the arts house thingo at city hall.

Yeah sure.




Sometimes, I forget. Lapses that brings me back, like a small insurrection within me, wanting to revert back. But I know that this insurgence will soon be quelled.



I think.
I'm super inspired. As in, super duper muper inspired. Haha.

Its bigger than what I thought it was, and it can only grow.

Heh.

Abra-cadabra.

Watch this space.
thisbittersweetsensation,thisinexplicablefeelingofwarmth.ishouldbesad,butthereisanoverwhelmingfeelingofcomfortwhichbolstersme.iwasfalling,falling,falling,butnowyoucaughtmewiththatsmile,thatvoiceandthoseeyes,liftmeupandputmebackontomyfeet.somehowidonotfeelliketheemptycupithoughtiwas,ifeellikethecupwhichisjustabouttobefilled.



was it you who spoke the words that..
Have you ever felt you were at the top. Have you had people ever pushing you up high, exalting your achievements, making you feel indestructible. I have. Till this morning.

When I received my literature unseen script, it all came crashing down. The intricate plan to get by, the crafted scheme to salvage what I now see as "former glory".

Perhaps it'd get better, this blow I've been dealt. After-all, a third does not represent the wholesome reflection.

As I receive my other 2 lit papers, I'd do so with apprehension. With anticipation, for once, with fear.



The winner takes it all.
Its a new night and a new day, what can I say,
its just the same old, brand new you.


I need to shake of this current funk I'm having. Its not good for my soul, and its not helping my own pursuit of happiness.


I don't lie when I say I'm happy, thats for sure.


In this past week or so, if anything, I've learnt more about myself and answered most of the questions plaguing me. I've solved some long-standing puzzles too!


1. Finally realise why I don't like chinese songs. Its simply because they are too darn direct lyrics-wise. Not much space for poetic value in them. I like subtext, I like having to figure out what stuff means, I like it when there is more than meets the eye.

2. My obssession with Green Tea can be euphemised as a way of natural selection. A way to ensure that my future generations are the strongest. Survival of the fittest. Those who can survive the early onslaught of spermicidal green tea will surely be a cut above the average ones. (Sperms, for those who don't know what I'm saying)

3. I like to play with salt shakers when eating in restaurants which provides salt shakers. Particularly sprinkling salt on the table, and blowing it in all directions! So fun!

4. Actually, I like to play with food in general. The thrill of a launched chicken projectile hitting its target, the satisfaction of a ice-spit projectile meeting its mark.

5. I like long bus rides. (Fine, I didn't figure this out on my own, but still, I learnt something new) It gives me time to think, time to breathe. Now I know why people savour time alone so much. It really just clears everything. Every negative thought is dispelled, every negative thing neutralised.

6. I hate beer. I just can't stomach it.

7. I like insulting people's faces. Or at least, try to.

8. The rhythmic sound of waves crashing upon a break-water is indeed calming, despite the cliche image.

9. I like reassuring myself that whatever I do, I do it to make myself happy, and often enough, I convince myself that I am doing the right thing.

10. I like hearing what others have to say, but sometimes, I really need to listen. So I'm going to start now.

Yeah. About ten things which I learnt about myself.

Narcisistic me, being all full of myself now.





I know, sometimes, I may really be stubborn, and downright depressing. Its stupid of me. I care so much about this that sometimes, I assume that things aren't all right, and I know its stupid. I hope you read this. I'm sorry for being understanding, but not understanding enough at times. I wouldn't change this for the world ever. Which is funny, cause you are my world. My happy place, where anything and everything is possible and good. "The night is darkest just before the dawn". Just let the sun shine through, and light up this endless path laid out, hopping over any obstructions, together.
Yesterday, I looked forward to the stayover because I wanted to drink.

Why did I want to drink? Why subject my body to the eroding corrosive effects of alcohol? Why, despite me abhoring the taste of beer lingering in my throat and the prospect of an embarrassing regurgitation, did I want to drink? Why, when I could have read a book, played soccer, go joggin for the same effect, did I drink?

Why? You really want to know why?

I'll tell you.

I drank, because I wanted to get away. I drank because I wanted to feel something to grasp my mind, and spin it around. I drank because I wanted to feel intoxicated. I drank because I wanted to feel that nothing else mattered, and all that I cared about was all that was before me. I drank because I felt empty, and wanted to be filled up, and alcohol would've done the job quite as well. I drank because drinking takes to places, it brings me to a high, and I feel that I'm flying. I drank because I'm not able.

I forget sometimes, that the higher you're lifted up, the harder you fall, slipping off the hand which had once elevated you, trying to find a foothold, but when you finally land hard with a thud, you find yourself sinking into a pit, the only way out, is if the hand which had once lifted you up and let you fall pulls you out of the sinking quagmire, and brings you to level ground.

I didn't drink last night. What stopped me was my Project Work. My practical side.

I didn't know I had a practical side. Actually, I don't.

I don't have a practical side to me. Everything I do needs to be as wonderous as possible. When I really want to, I can cast everything aside, my whole world on a standstill, just to feel the breeze pass by, just to have one more look, one more word, one more chance.

I give, oh God. How I give. I give everything, more than is required. Sometimes, more than I can really give. But, I still give. None of it is taken.

One day, I will run out of things to give, run out of reasons to give. And when that happens, please know, that from that day onwards, I will not be able to give anymore, ever.

I don't understand. What I do understand though, is that I don't need to understand. I haven't changed. No, definitely not me. I'm still the same. Always giving without want of returns. All I ever wished for, was for what I gave out to be accepted.

Obviously, I've rubbed the magic lamp more than three times.

My wishes aren't coming through.

But I still wish. I would always be wishing, day in, day out, for the same thing.

For the stars to shine brightly together, and be the light in the boundless sea of darkness.

I will always wish. But if I stop wishing, I know that the very stars which I wish to always be bright will falter. One of which, to sustain the other's light, will fizzle and transfer all its energy to the other, never to shine again.

The other, will remain shining, perhaps more brightly than ever, perhaps, dimmer than usual, but it will never fail to shine, for it is all the fizzled star wanted, for at least one of them to shine on forever.



I wish. Oh, how I wish.
I shall have a post in the style of a recount. Which is essentially, the real reason which a blog should exist in the first place. Web-log = blog, therefore, theoretically, a "blog" is a domain on the world wide web, on which a person logs in recounts of his or her daily events, a-la a journal. Yes.

Back to basics.

I'm pretty satisfied with the results of my promotional examination exercise results. It started desolutely with a dreaded but expected "U" for maths, which was completely deserved due to the disgusting lack of effort I put in for the subject. A "D" for TSD followed, I must say, I was relieved to get this grade, it was exactly as expected, seeing how I actually find the marking scheme of its practical component rather contentious. A "D" for my general paper, which got moderated by 3 marks, to give me a 59 overall, just 1 off a "C" grade that would've just made me all the more merrier. No complaints though. The 66.437 I received for chinese came as an unwanted joy, and I felt that I really deserved lesser in proportion to the effort and attitude I had towards the language. I was really lucky, thats all. Most recently, I also had a "D" for history. On the dot. 30 + 25 = 55. Shizz. It fell a grade short of my "best case scenario", but really, there is no reason to be upset about anything now.

What's left, is literature. My pet subject, my forte (at least in secondary school). Lets hope I get what I wish for.

Enough of my results analysation, I'm irritating myself with my obsessiveness over results.

So today, I thought my phone was irrecoverably spoilt in the morning, till ALOYSIUS HO suggested to clear my inbox. 1387 messages took rather long to clear, but when I did, my phone miraculously was cured. Credit to aloysius? Nah, I think not. Pure coincidence. HAHA. Kidding luhh.

School was a drag, history tutorial, maths lecture, project work. I don't know why I bothered to go. Well, I did get my history paper back though. I guess that was reason enough.

Went to City Music to check out equipment rental, got some contacts (which I haven't touched yet, damn), and headed down to Plaza Singapura to meet the boyzz.

Hung around Macs at PS, dozed off taking after Conrad, and moved off to Carl's Junior's when E Jin and Marcus Tay arrived and demanded to be fed. Headed off to NJC soon after.

No offence to the school, but their event sucked massive balls big time. At least from 6pm - 7.30pm. The audience never really streamed in, and the "dance party" as promised by the hosts, turned out to be some Chinese dance troupe. Really stinked at the beginning. Went out of the hall during the Indian Dance, and when we went back in after like, 30 minutes, there was suddenly loud club-ish music, and Nationalists dancing on the floor. It was starting to look like a party, but it was one that we didn't seem like we had the right to be in.

Things got better during the band segments though. Paul and Wen Song were great. The girl's band, well, I was in the toilet again then. HAHA. The last band was decent, though they killed a couple of songs by not even getting the correct chord progression. They did CHECK YES JULIET, but as I just mentioned, was a little bit of a let down. We had fun adding actions to the lyrics though!

Went to Adam Road for supper, and ended off at Macs, and here I am now!

HAHA, gonna read my book and sleep soon!





\Check yes Juliet, are you with me?
I guess its back to basics, building castles on fields of gold, making magic out of faded pixie dust. Things only get better.







I hope.
We live in a paradoxical world. This difference only marks the fact that everything is the same as before. *insert cute smiley here*

When I seem to show indifference, its only because I care more. Oh the irony.

So yeah, everything is actually the same, despite the changing set and scene, the plot follows the script.

Today, I feel great satisfaction with how I straightened out my thoughts, I just hope I didn't do any damage before.

Lets leave this day with this.

Check yes Juliet, here's the count down, 3-2-1, you'll fall in my arms now. They can change the locks, don't let them change your mind.

Clouds provide openings for the sun to shine through even brighter than ever.




I really hope I didn't send out the wrong signals.
My lighthouse is faulty, and maybe it was directed at the rocks for abit,
but its repaired now, and the light is shining beyond what we can see, beckoning us to challenge the horizons.
Lights out, I still feel the rain,
these images have filled my head,
now keep my fingers from making mistakes,
tell my voice what it takes to
speak up, speak up,
keep my conscience clean when I wake.

Don't make this easy, I want you to mean it,
Jaesey,
say you mean it.
You're dressed to kill, I'm callin' you out.
Don't waste your time on me.

Now there's an aching in my back,
a stabbing pain that says I lack,
the common sense, and confidence,
to bring an end to promises that I made in times of
desperate conversations,
hoping my night would be better than as in the end,
just say when.

Don't make this easy, I want you to mean it,
Jaesey,
say you mean it.
You're dressed to kill, I'm callin' you out.
Don't waste your time on me.

I never told a lie,
and that makes me a liar.

I never made a bet,
but we gamble with desire.

I never lit match with intent to start a fire, but recently the flames are getting out of control.

Call me a name, kill me with words.
Forget about me, its what I deserve.

I was your chance to get out of this town,
but I ditched the car, and left you to

wait outside. (I hope the air would serve to remind you that my eyes are as cold, as a glance of your breath, and my words are as timed as the beating in your chest.)

I finally know what this song means, as well as Six Feet Under the Stars. I finally interpreted them.

Aloysius Ho Austin Collin Conrad E-jin Gabriel Hannah Hong Yi Jana Jia Hui Kai Kyra Nathan Nick Paul Raymond Samuel Tan Sing Chuen Siyi Steph Victoria Yuai Yvelyn Class 4.4 Class 08A12
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