Posted on: Friday, February 29, 2008
Posted at: 11:00 PM
Oh well, Life is tough, no choice, no choice.
That's right. Keep telling yourself that.
On the brink of exhaustion, I've learnt that you are only what others perceive you to be. At this level, many things we go through, are nothing but "popularity contests", the results of which do not refelct anything at all.
Maybe I'm over-reading again, as usual. Or maybe, this time, I could, just..just.. could, be right about this whole thing.
I almost died today. Not literally, but more of a oh-am-gee-shizz-man, kinda dying feeling.
Why am I so easily amused and why do I entertain such off-the-chart thoughts which I do will only slowly make things more difficult for me as they already are?
The many things I have to clear right now are swirling through my head. Why must the one thing which I know will take forever to resolve thrusting its seeds in my brain, beginning to form its roots in my mind now.
I've been here, before, a few times. Well, actually, technically speaking, just once before. I'll have to nip this "problem" in the bud.
"Fair is foul and foul is fair". How can something so good turn out to be a bad thing, and how can this bad thing turn out to be so damn fine.
"So fair and foul a day I have not seen" - MacBeth.
Posted on: Monday, February 25, 2008
Posted at: 10:49 PM
Who's blog do I go to first when I blog-surf? (which of course, is a daily routine)
Why am I bothered?
What am I doing?
When will I awaken?
Where will I end up?
How do I stop this.
Somebody asked if I was in love recently, I'd say, I was just absolutely smitten.
Of course, now, my path has totally blown off course, and I'm just lost.
Gone with the wind, but still with a grin.
I'd like to quote a john mayer song.
But I'll not waste my (non-existent) reader's time by quoting the chorus of "Good Love is On The Way".
G'night.
Posted on: Friday, February 22, 2008
Posted at: 10:37 PM
Its you, its you. You make me sing.
You've every line, you're every word.
You're eh-ver-ree-thing.The euphoria has overtaken all emotion. Yet, through this surge of happiness, is inevitable caution. Resentment which I do not know if I'd be able to handle. Of course, life isn't fair. Some people win, some people lose. I'm relieved and thankful of my second chance, and I vow to, and let me quote my eldest brother's exact words on this, "fucking make the most of it".
Resolve, resolution, returning, reaping results.
Moving mountains, making miracles, moulding men, mastering maths.
Thank you for all the help. Really. Reeally really.
Moving away. I am really confused. I don't know how I got myself into this web of problems within my own mind. I've really got to stop making such expectations for myself. Or at the very least, I absolutely have to stop making such groundless assumptions. What I think will happen, often will not happen. What I think is happening, is usually not happening.
Dammit Leon, wake up.
Smell the coffee.
Shake it off.
Who'd you think you are.
Get real.
these things that are pleasin' you, will hurt you somehow.
Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy,
She'd beat you if she's able.
Y'know, the queen of hearts, is always the best bet.
Well, it seems to me,
some fine things.
Had been laid upon the table.
But you only want,
the one,
that you can't get..Desperado, why don't you.
Posted on: Sunday, February 17, 2008
Posted at: 1:43 PM
Here's a lesson I learnt today.
When something goes badly, don't fear. Its your fault. If ever the thing which you are best at fails you for the moment, its okay. Just give it up totally subsequently. You are now a failure. In fact, don't just let it get to you. Let it get to everybody around you who cares about you. Best yet, try to get them to agree with you that you failed. If they don't, well, who needs them anyway. You've got yourself and your failure to brood over. But wait, it isn't a total failure as you thought it was. The main objective, afterall, was achieved. Its okay. No matter, you can use that small failure to overide any sucesses which was accomplished. Afterall, whats life without failure? In fact, to help others enhance their life, encourage them to fail in whatever they do! Yes. That would make their day. Give them predictions and visions of their failure. Illustrate their failed future and parralel it with your own life, at least it will make them feel better and give them the motivation to fail. Afterall, isn't it every good daddy's nightmare to see their children out-performing them?
Okay.
Posted on: Sunday, February 10, 2008
Posted at: 11:20 AM
Awww.. Aren't we adorable?
Less than three.
Chinese new year has been marred by a harsh bout of diarrhoea and fever.
As if my life isn't troubled enough eh?
The matter of paramount importance though, is my course of action on the 19th of February. I most definitely would be unable to retain my spot in the place I want to remain in, I wouldn't go down without a fight, I promise. But already, as statistics show, I'm fighting a lost battle. Hope still lingers, but, hope always lingers.
Of course, there is an alternative to ensure my stay, but it is one which I wouldn't take. I'm really touched though, by the efforts to try to retain me. Heh.
Oh well.
What won't kill you will make you stronger. If leaving behind everything which I had previously worked for doesn't kill me, I guess it'd just make me stronger. Build up my immunity. Oh gosh, I hope I don't get used to faltering at the crucial times. That would be pretty screwed up.
I'll put everything into perspective.
Run this race with me, everybody.
Posted on: Saturday, February 09, 2008
Posted at: 10:18 AM
I've got a super cute toddler newphew and a super cute baby niece.
Toddler newphew, Joshua (HAHA), is really too smart. And sensitive too! He bumped his head against mine, and I pretended to be all pain and stuff. 5 minutes later, when I was still letting him rummage through my wallet, he suddenly became super silent. And even refuted his mother's concern. Later, when he was about to go home, he told his grandma (my aunt) that he "bumped" "uncle Leon" and "uncle Leon pain". Awwwww.... He cared about me!
*sniffles*
Austin, Jana, surely there would be more to leave our presence. Why must the ones who leave be the ones who are the most energetic and bubbly ones?
Life wouldn't be the same without them two.
Okay guys. Lets all stay in Singapore aye?
Time to lay claim to the evidence,
Fingerprints sold me out,
But our footprints washed away,
I'm guilty, but I'm safe for one more day.
Posted on: Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Posted at: 12:08 AM
Does my not hair look extremely pretty and reddish!?
Who says I only blog about girls.
Let me blog about guys now.
Uhm. Nate is cool.
Okay.
Now, a tribute to somebody. Somebody who embodies the spirit of a daffodil. The bubbly spirit which is... Jana Loh.
Amazingly, Jana, we don't have a photo together, although I'm pretty sure that you have like, a whole album-full of my unglam shots.
Nevertheless.
Jana Loh, you were as crazy as you are now, even on the day ACS(I) and St Nicks met in MEP camp. Goodness. I don't even remember how in the world we two met. Was it Conrad? From sitting around and playing pick-up sticks, the two groups of people soon became one as we raced to KAP to "talk-cock".
Since then, all of us have been super good friends. Under your command, we went for you-be-late 2, there, we witnessed a momentous occasion in which we both were heavily a part of. Yes. None other than, the merging of 2 souls. STEPs by step, we CONjured up the magic of the moment, and changed two of our good friend's lives.
I don't think I'd forget that time like, super long ago, when we crashed your school. Something which you said (and this knowledge i learnt off only months after) really made me laugh.
Year 2007 came, and, in August, you guys gave me the most awesome birthday party ever. Well, my first birthday party ever, but, you get the point. You-be-late 3, again, well, quite an important event for all of us..
Sometime around there, Conrad and I (Conrad beginning way earlier than I) started to study in the library with your group of friends. Many memories and laughs I'd not forget, many incidents I'd hold dear, and of course, many things I'd want to forget.
Prelims came, and O-levels passed. Results arrived. You really held me up. Thanks for the encouragement and concern. I really don't deserve it. I'd strive, not give up without a fight.
Now, our AC-SN alliance loses one of its finest and founding members to Australia. May you look back at the memories, laugh and cry, giggle and sob. A piercing silence will fill the air, memory of your presence, linger. Things would not be the same, the air will be heavier, the skies, greyer, the air colder, the music, softer.
To Jana Loh. May you remember to come online to MSN once in a while.
P.S - what you said at your place during your farewell thing. SERIOUSLY MAN! NO! For so so many reasons, no. Lets hope for you to erase that thought out of your head, cause, even if it was your last wish, it ain't gonna happen. You should know that I'm not open to this stuff anymore.
Okay. Guys, airport, 6pm, Saturday.
Aight. Today. Woah. Super tiring. As in, more mentally than physically. Oh darn. Who am I kidding. I meant, more physically than mentally. I fell asleep in every lesson. Even chinese. Argh. Not a good impression, Leon. TSD today was really fun. Though it was extremely stressful. Was one hour late in meeting Aloysius, Jerald, Sarah L, and Sarah Yip for dinner. Ended up eating Burger King. Its really weird, how different people look during the holidays and in school. I met someone I knew during the holidays, and couldn't processes who it was for like, 5 whole seconds. I just blanked out on the street and stared. That was rather retarded, I must say.
Aloy! Untwist your ankle!
After dinner, Jerald splintered out of our group to join his other friends who were also at Burger King. Sarahs and I then waited for a cab. Argh. I hate waiting for taxis. The three of us just waited for like, an extremely long time. It was so annoying. The "ang-moh" trying to cut our taxi line, right in front of our faces. Sheesh. And they dare say Singaporeans aren't nice people.
Reached Paradiz at 9.20 pm. Soo sorry guys. Was about 1 hour 40 minutes late. Argh. Heh. My bad. "Six Feet Under The Stars" sounded good to me! As for *shudder* the other song, HAHA. I think I just have to figure it out. Bah.
Tomorrow is Chinese New Year's Eve! I'm going to bring a set of contemporary traditional-modern fusion shirt to wear after school! Probably to the movies with the seniors! Whee! Fun! (I hope)
I need to spend more time with my parents. I really miss them. Whenever I come home, I'm asleep. I know, I'm going to wake up at 5.45 tomorrow and "surprise" them at the stall. It wouldn't make up for the late nights, but at least, it'd make their day. (Unless one of them picks up $1000 000 by accident tomorrow)
Oh dear. I'm very tired.
you STILL got me on my knees
Posted on: Sunday, February 03, 2008
Posted at: 10:22 PM
Hello.
Guys, we have to remember, that we were all from the same class, the fact that half of our class consist of scholars should make us even more bonded and closer together. (For that matter, scholars, you all are part of our class, and you all rock.) Can we stop all this bickering and shit? Whatever feuds we have, lets just shove it aside on the account of the 2 marvellous years we spent together. Okay. Heres the part where I am branded a hypocrit. Not something that I particularly enjoy.
RtR - we aren't getting anywhere at this pace. we also need to be more sensitive to ourselves and others. especially others.
Remember the good times, leave behind the bad
At the end of the day, we're all that we had.
